Coaching and Mentoring for Growth – Module 2
Core Coaching Skills: Listening, Questioning, and Reframing
Level: Intermediate | Estimated Time: 45–60 minutes
2.1 Learning Outcomes
By the end of this module, you will be able to:
- Use active listening to understand both content and emotion.
- Apply open, probing, clarifying, and reflective questions.
- Recognise when to pause, summarise, or challenge constructively.
- Use reframing to help others see problems from a more useful perspective.
- Structure a coaching conversation using a simple goal-action framework.
2.2 Listening as a Leadership Skill
Listening is the foundation of coaching. Many leaders listen only long enough to prepare a response. Coaching requires a deeper form of listening: listening to understand the person’s goal, context, assumptions, emotions, and patterns of thinking.
Active listening includes:
- Giving full attention without multitasking.
- Noticing tone, hesitation, repetition, and emotional signals.
- Checking understanding before responding.
- Reflecting key words or themes back to the speaker.
- Allowing silence so the person can think.
Silence can feel uncomfortable, especially for leaders who are used to solving problems quickly. However, silence often gives the coachee space to move from surface description to deeper insight.
Activity 2.1 – Listening Audit
In your next conversation, notice your listening behaviour:
- How often do you interrupt?
- Do you listen for facts only, or also for emotion and assumptions?
- Do you summarise before giving your view?
2.3 Powerful Questions
Questions are central to coaching because they shift the cognitive work back to the learner. A good question is not designed to show how clever the coach is. It helps the other person think more clearly.
1. Open Questions
Open questions invite explanation rather than a yes/no answer. Examples include:
- What outcome are you trying to achieve?
- What have you already tried?
- What would success look like?
2. Clarifying Questions
Clarifying questions reduce ambiguity. Examples include:
- When you say the project is blocked, what specifically is blocked?
- Who needs to be involved in the decision?
- What is the actual deadline?
3. Reflective Questions
Reflective questions help the person examine assumptions, patterns, and learning. Examples include:
- What do you think is really driving the issue?
- What are you assuming about the other person’s response?
- What did you learn from the last attempt?
4. Action Questions
Action questions move the conversation towards practical progress. Examples include:
- What is one step you can take this week?
- What support do you need?
- How will you know that progress has been made?
Reflection 2.1 – Your Question Pattern
Which type of question do you use most often: open, clarifying, reflective, or action-focused? Which type could you use more intentionally?
2.4 Summarising and Checking Understanding
Summarising is a simple but powerful coaching behaviour. It shows that you are listening and helps the speaker hear their own thinking more clearly. A useful summary may begin with:
- “What I am hearing is…”
- “It sounds like the main issue is…”
- “Let me check if I have understood this correctly…”
After summarising, ask the person to confirm or correct your understanding. This prevents the leader from building advice on incomplete information.
Case Example 2.1 – The Missing Summary
A team member says they are overwhelmed. The leader immediately suggests time management strategies. Later, it becomes clear the real issue is unclear priorities from two senior managers. If the leader had summarised and checked understanding, they would have discovered that the problem was not personal organisation but conflicting expectations.
2.5 Reframing Problems
Reframing helps a person see a situation from a more useful angle. It does not deny difficulty. Instead, it shifts the frame so that new options become visible.
Examples of reframing include:
- From “I failed” to “What feedback did this attempt provide?”
- From “They are difficult” to “What might their priorities or pressures be?”
- From “I cannot do this” to “What capability do I need to develop first?”
- From “This is unfair” to “What is within my control now?”
Reframing should be used carefully. If used too quickly, it can sound dismissive. First acknowledge the person’s experience, then help them consider another perspective.
Activity 2.2 – Reframe Practice
Choose one current challenge and write it in three ways:
- The original problem statement.
- A more constructive interpretation.
- One action that becomes possible under the new frame.
2.6 A Simple Coaching Structure
While coaching should feel conversational, structure helps keep it purposeful. A simple structure is:
- Goal: What does the person want to achieve?
- Reality: What is happening now?
- Options: What choices are available?
- Action: What will the person do next?
- Follow-up: When will progress be reviewed?
This structure keeps the discussion from becoming either a complaint session or an advice session. It supports clarity, ownership, and accountability.
Reflection 2.2 – Coaching Conversation Preparation
Before your next coaching conversation, write down:
- The likely goal of the conversation.
- Two open questions you will ask.
- One point where you may need to summarise.
- How you will help the person define an action.
2.7 Module Summary
- Coaching requires deep listening, not only problem-solving.
- Powerful questions help the learner clarify goals, reality, options, and actions.
- Summarising prevents misunderstanding and strengthens reflection.
- Reframing helps people see challenges from more constructive perspectives.
- A simple coaching structure keeps the conversation focused and practical.
In Module 3, we will examine mentoring as a developmental relationship built on experience, guidance, trust, and professional judgement.